Sometimes

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Sometimes I need a reminder that life can be good and I have had plenty of happy days and that I can look good in pictures although I often don’t like what I see in the mirror. Sometimes I need to feel good about myself and am desperate for positive attention. I don’t like it, but that’s just reality. I’m sure most of us feel like that at times, especially when feeling down in the dumps. Life has not been kind to me lately, and I’ve been feeling so damn lost. I ask myself every day: why me? Why can’t things just be easy for a while? It’s so difficult to see the bigger picture and put things in perspective.

People ask me what I do. If I work. When I say no, not really, they ask what I do instead. That’s a hard question to answer. Where do I want to go? What do I want to do? Those are hard questions to answer. Right now, I’m just trying my best to stay afloat. Most days feel like a massive struggle. But I’ve gone through very tough times before and have survived, and I will get through this as well. No timeline for that, though – there never is.

Although I’ve never played the game, I often quote to myself: Why are we still here, just to suffer? And by we, I mean I.

Wish I knew when this will all turn around. But I can’t predict the future. Which really fucking sucks.

Blablablablabla. Have a nice weekend everybody.